#079 Are You in Coffee Jail?

Here's how you never re-offend again

Song: Eden (hava nagila interpolation) - dramatic violin interlude by Joel Sunny

I find it fascinating how different people use coffee. For some, it’s truly a drug. They can’t function without it. Heck, they NEED it just to feel normal. That, is a sure sign you’re in need of coffee jail. You’ve crossed the rubicon. You’ve abused coffee, and the only way to ‘reset’, is for 2 weeks of abstinence.

See, here at the WARKITCHEN we believe coffee should be enjoyed. Coffee needs to add to our lives, it shouldn’t be required for status quo. Coffee should only be enjoyed in high vibrational states. You sip coffee to fuel your creative pursuits. What you never do is rely on coffee as a crutch for basic human function.

Here are 4 rules to drinking coffee well:

1. Never drink coffee on an empty stomach (ESP if it's black!)
   What this does is eventually damage your gut lining. Using coffee like this is a sure fire way to destroy your body. It's okay once in a while, but never everyday

2. Never go beyond two occasions of coffee
   The law of diminishing returns prevail. You only want two "occasions" of coffee. It's all were prescribed in a 24 hour period. Perhaps an early morning cappuccino. And some espresso with friends in the afternoon. If you really need a subtle buzz, get tea or mate Plus, the novelty & 'punch' of coffee really wears off after the second cup. You'll easily find yourself on the slippery slope of dependency and at that point, coffee is using you.

3. Stay hydrated
   Drinking just coffee without anything else will lead to dehydration real quick. Make sure you consume real liquids before & after coffee consumption. This doesn't mean downing endless liters of water btw, it means hydrating yourself with liquids that move the needle. Tasteful drinks imbued with naturally occurring electrolytes. Think coconut water, sugarcane juice, spring water, milk, etc.

4. Drink quality coffee
   It truly makes a difference. Sipping coffee made from quality beans will drastically alter your coffee experience. Don't listen to the guys who want to skimp on every dollar. $1 coffee is quite CERTAINLY bad for you lol. You're drinking mold. The premium you pay for coffee at high end cafés is almost always justified. They take care of their grinders and machines every single day. Their beans are freshly roasted. Only thing is to make sure they're using good milk. Oat milk propaganda has spread too far lol.

Side note: find the type of coffee that works for you! I firmly believe there's a cup for everyone, and that if you "don't enjoy" coffee, you just haven't found it

What do you enjoy drinking the most?

1. Piping hot espresso
   Espressos are like a grenade. A timer starts when it gets sent to your table. They're the most concentrated manifestation of the coffee bean; designed to give you a hit, in the truest possible sense. But once it's cold? It's the most disgusting thing.

2. Frothy cappuccino
   A cappuccino is what I get if I haven't particularly eaten a heavy breakfast, yet I want a good hit of coffee. It's more filling than an espresso, and is great to sip on during that 9-10am window of the morning.

3. Cortado
   Sometimes you want an espresso, but you don't want it that edgy. You want something to take the edge off ever so slightly, and that's when you get a cortado. The foamy milk just elevates the espresso into a cappuccino espresso lovechild.

4. Drip Coffee
   I'm not the biggest fan of drip coffee, but I tried some from Bacha Coffee the other day and I have to say it's alright. Definitely different, and it's more of a slow burn imo. Definitely prefer iced to hot when it's slow drip.

5. Affogato
   The affogato is reserved for those days you deserve a little treat. And honestly, they're not as much of a full on 'dessert' as most people think. An affogato is just espresso + ice cream. And ice cream's just milk, sugar & egg yolks. Very tasteful!

   

A Thousand Rebirths

You need to be constantly re-creating yourself. If you don’t look back in a few months and cringe at your past self? You aren’t doing enough rebirths. We only have one life, but you can live a thousand lifetimes.

Vintage Sardines

Why aren’t you collecting niche, vintage cans of fish? Apart from these guys being the best fish oil supplement you can find (P.S. mainstream news is just starting to catch on to what we’ve been saying on health twitter for a few years now…), vintage cans like these ones from the French brand “la Perle” are just so nice to line your pantry with. They actually can their sardines by year, and sell them just like wine. Plus, each one comes with a unique illustration on the cover. Cool concept, huh?

Warm Lighting For Cozy Ambience

Lighting matters more than you can possibly imagine. Not just for your health, but your general mood. The thoughts that run in your head. How you feel. Harsh blues just dampen everything. It's too bright. Blinding, almost. Especially when the day's coming to a close. You want everything warm; cool. The right lighting will transform your life.

❋ Three Ingredient Classic Italian Dessert

❋ Pudim de leite — Cape Verdean Style Flan

Is Pudim easy to make?
Yes! Super easy, but you also need to follow the instructions closely! The most difficult part for me was getting the caramel syrup to reach a golden, amber color without burning it. My first few times, I didn’t caramelize the sugar enough out of fear that it would burn.

❋ Tenniscore is the latest fashion trend we can’t get enough of

Maybe we'll do a tennis drop this year? 🎾

❋ Before vs After: Grounding under a tree for just 10 minutes

❋ Here’s one cheese worth trying — French Comte

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By Alena Shymchonak

Thank you for joining us on this beautiful Sunday ladies & gents! Have a wonderful one 🥂

❋ Read our most recent WARKITCHEN issues:

• Issue 24: It’s official (May ‘24)

• Issue 23: Do it, tastefully (April '24)

• Issue 22: The Microplastic Problem (March '24)

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