Your café order says a lot about you. It reveals secrets and it’s funny how some characteristics shared are uncanny. What we can all agree on is that Sundays are for deep leisure - go to your favorite café, get your favorite drink (even if it’s an Americano) and just relax.
Affogato: You have a deep joy for life. You enjoy celebrating the little moments. Very few days go by where you’re not caffeinated. Coffee is your vice and you’re absolutely not shy to admit it. Life’s always better with a tiny scoop of ice cream, isn’t it? Vanilla is in your top 3 ice cream flavors. Since you’re having ice cream, why not drown it in piping hot espresso?
Cappuccino: You appreciate simplicity. You’re the type that orders the same thing at every café, every time, forever. If it’s not broken, why fix it? It doesn’t matter how hot or cold it is outside, you just want your frothy cappuccino. Equal parts espresso, milk and foam. Just like how God intended it. On Sundays, you might pair it with a flaky buttery croissant (and you’ll make sure they warm it up, just slightly).
Moka: You almost never buy takeaway coffee. Why spend $6 on a cup when you make it best, right? Your Moka pot never has a day off. You abuse that thing like it’s a clanker. Once you’re awake and have gained your consciousness back you head straight to your Moka pot. That metallic whistle is music to your ears. You only feel alive after you’ve had your coffee.
Flat White: Beauty is found in the details. You always tell people that yes, there is a difference between a flat white and a latte. Microfoam matters. Texture matters. You alphabetize your spice rack and label every little thing in your pantry.
Espresso: You tell everyone you only drink espresso. You can’t actually tell the difference between dark and light roast yet you always swirl your cup for the lore. Sometimes you wish you could just order an iced matcha latte but you don’t want to break the image you’ve built with the barista who’s seen you get an espresso 237 days in a row. The streak must continue. The persona must live on.
Matcha: You’re in it for the aesthetic. You don’t even drink tea. You just love how cute the green looks and you can’t wait to share it on IG. You tell people you “can’t live without matcha” yet you couldn’t spell it 4 months ago. You make sure to obsessively stir your iced matcha after every third sip and you think matcha is a valid pre-workout drink.
Frappuccino: You’re the reason Starbucks is a multi-billion dollar company. You never liked coffee. You’re just after cups of weirdly named iced drinks with sugar the likes our grandparents couldn’t fathom. The more calories the better. Whipped cream always. Caramel syrup stays ON. You take pride in the fact that your order contains 243 syllables.
Pod Coffee: All you see from coffee is utility. Nothing else. No art. No beauty. No joy. The furthest you’ve gone with experimenting is to mix a Cioccolatino with a Caramelito. Coffee is a drug for you. Capsule in. Button pressed. Bean water out. You don’t tell anyone this but we both know you added a Breville to your cart but just couldn’t bring yourself to checkout. God bless your soul.
Americano: You’re a reformed espresso drinker who got sucked into the capitalist machine. Your excuse for drinking a diluted espresso is that you need more time to “sip”. You act like the Americano increases your productivity yet you’re just alternating between the same apps craving for that next dopamine hit. You don’t actually enjoy an Americano yet you’ve never thought about the possibility of adding some milk or sugar. You’ll come to the realization in about a decade or so.
Drip: You can’t help yourself. You have to explain to everyone that you’re getting drip (not batch brew) or you will physically not be able to breathe. Can you tell the difference? 1000%. Does anyone care? Absolutely not. You make sure to subtly hint to the barista that you’re a drip coffee aficionado and drop terms like “bloom” and “drawdown time” into the conversation.
Tea: You’re a reformed coffee addict. You view tea as more of a ritual, really. Yet you enjoy ordering it at a café even though you can make it at home. You enjoy partaking in the ritual where everyone can see you. You enjoy dipping the tea bag in water and just letting it steep. Sometimes you add a little milk, and others you just enjoy it as is. You try to convert your friends but they never listen.
Spanish Latte: You have a sweet tooth. But you keep it on the down low. You say a Spanish latte is a little treat yet you’ve had three this week. You say “life is short” a lot for someone who’s 24. You ask everyone you know to try one and they tell you it’s too sweet. You tell them that they just don’t get it. If you’re feeling a little crazy you pair it with a flaky pain au chocolat.
Cortado: You know your coffee. Yet you never brag about it. In fact, you often act like you know nothing. Dark roast? Light roast? What do they even mean, you’ll say. You’re a creative at heart. You enjoy coffee yet you don’t want to feel bloated. All you want is a tiny hit of caffeine before you continue living your life and doing the things that fulfill you.
Cold Brew: You never drink your coffee hot. You cannot fathom how that would feel. You tried a Nitro cold brew once in college and it’s become your entire personality since. You make sure to repeat your cold brew order so that you don’t get an Americano. You tell everyone there’s a stark difference but honestly, you can’t tell them apart even if your life depended on it.
Espresso Tonic: You enjoy feeling alive. You appreciate textures. You love the finer things in life. Nothing quenches your thirst (and love for coffee) than a fizzy espresso tonic in peak summer. You’re the type who always orders something new at a restaurant and your friends copy you soon after. You don’t try to be different yet you often find that you are.
Piccolo: Your biggest fear with coffee is milk. You ordered a flat white once in Italy and got sent a glass of milk so it’s scarred you forever. Espressos are too bitter for you. Lattes and cappuccinos are too much. So you always get a piccolo. Sometimes two. Or three. And you always request for it to be served in a cute little shot glass.
P.S. this was all for just a bit of fun lol if you drink an Americano we love you (but try a cortado and report back hehe)
Brain foods
Pick me up
Glorious desserts
Sometimes just one glorious dessert is all it takes to turn the worst days around 🥂
❋ HONEY THYME GRUYÈRE BAKED IN PUFF PASTRY
Who doesn’t like melted cheese and pastry? Just the thought of this recipe for Honey Thyme Gruyère Baked in Puff Pastry makes my mouth water! It’s one of those recipes that looks difficult but takes only a few minutes to put together and that makes it very dangerous considering that you could potentially make this and eat it all yourself! It’s really that good!
Cubes of Gruyère Cheese are sprinkled with thyme and drizzled with hot honey (I used Mike’s) and baked in a nest of puff pastry! It comes out of the oven looking like the best ooey gooey bread ever and it might just be! I served this pan of deliciousness hot out of the oven with Hot Pepper Cranberry Jelly. A simple green salad with pears, dried cranberries, walnuts and a little sautèed pancetta seemed a perfect accompaniment! A little slice of Gruyère puff pastry alongside a serving of salad is such a delicious lunch, with, of course, a glass of Rosé! This is a recipe to serve all year long!
❋ THE PERFECT WAY TO CUT EVERY CHEESE THERE IS
The facts are straightforward: Serve cheese plate, improve situation. No matter the occasion, cheese is bound to make it better.
Figuring out how to neatly present said cheese plate, however, is the tricky part. Sure, you can place the cheeses all nice and pretty on a board, but how does one know where to make the first cheese incision? And what about the intimidation factor that comes along with being the first person to whack into that beautiful, unperturbed wedge of brie?
Let me ask you something: do you ever stumble upon a recipe that’s so simple yet so good, it feels like a little kitchen miracle? That’s exactly how I feel about French Onion Butter Rice. It’s cozy, rich, and basically tastes like a warm hug in a bowl. Trust me, once you try it, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it.
If you’re looking for a dish that’s easy to make but tastes like you spent hours in the kitchen, this is it. Let’s dive into the magic of this buttery, onion-y rice and why you’re going to love it.
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I once worked with a French guy who called Americano ‘jus de chaussette’ (sock juice) and I’ve drank cortado ever since
You missed latte!! A core part of my identity is now unidentifiable.